"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"

My Name is I play guitar.

aim - xrockyofaceoffx

A Few Things You Didn't Know:

- I love Southern Rock.
- I like Chunky soup.
- I like to eat with a fork, not a spoon
- I like to shop for shoes.
- I am a myspace whore. Deal with it.
- I love the 80's.
- I can't stand people who take more than one bite at a time... If you were meant to have more food in your mouth, they would make the spoons bigger.
- It bugs me when people misuse too and to.
- I hate dogs.
- Sometimes I like to make snowmen.
- Frosty has never come alive for me.
- Underneath my clothes im naked.
- People who get mad .. make me laugh.
- Internet jealousy is lame.
- I hate how some people feel the need to talk crap when they need to look in a mirror...
- I distance myself from people who constantly have drama following them.
- I hate how trendy myspace has become.
- People who post fake pictures are insecure.
- I'm VERY independent.
- I love the few people I consider my friends.
- I am easy going.
- I dont like cheaters.
- I dont like liars.
- I love how fake I can be to someone who has hurt me... Just smile and act like we're cool.
- Using AIM has turned me into a lazy typer.
- Same with automatic spell check.
- I tend to forget apostrophes in the word "dont".
- Do what you want with ur life... As long as it doesn't affect me in mine.
- I am great at ordering food.
- The Gotti show is dumb.
- I am not nice to random people.
- Me giving you a compliment does NOT mean i want to sleep with you.
- I don't believe in karma.
- I give everyone a chance.
- Myspace is the biggest deathtrap I know.
- I hate myspace more than you will ever know.
- I believe in God/Jesus.
- When I was a kid I wanted to be a garbage truck...
- Yes, you read that right.
- Drug free is the way to be.
- I prefer hugs over handshakes.

Myspace Wishlist:

- I wish Myspace had more fake profiles cuz honestly, I can't get enough of hot looking girls who refuse to post more than 1 pic of themselves.
- I wish more people sent me hate mail over the most random crap.
- I wish more of them would do it from fake accounts so their identity could be hidden.
- I wish more gay guys hit on me.
- I wish more people announced that they were deleting their Myspace profiles.
- Luckily those are followed by an announcement that they've been talked out of it. Thank God. What would we have done with out you.
- I wish more people got mad when I didn't return their emails instantly. I'm sorry, I forgot you're the ONLY person that emails me.
- I wish more people would write to me and say, "that's it?!?" when I reply "thanks" to their opening email of "ur hot"
- I wish more people said clever things like, "yer hawt". U peeps rawk!
- I wish more people gave me crap for having a big friends list. Cuz again it's my fault you're a loser an no one wants you on there page.
- I wish more people gave me crap cuz I refuse to whore them out.
- I wish more people started rumors about me. Cuz you all know me so well.
- I wish Myspace went down more often. It gives me a chance to pee.
- I wish people posted more survey bulletins. They are so fun.
- I wish there were more people who complained about their lives. Cuz complaining is hot.
- I wish more bands added me. They are all so talented.
- I wish more promoters tried to post comments on my page that are about 400 billion pixels. Who wants to see my lame profile when they can read about crappy events no one wants to go to.
- I wish more people posted bulletins threatening to delete people if they don't email them.
- I wish more people posted bulletins about myspace closing down. Cuz Tom really hates his bazillion dollars a year he makes.
- I wish more people asked me if I was in a band.
- I wish more young girls would tell me off. Cuz I take you very seriously when you do.
- I wish more ppl sent me invites to join their lame groups. You can never have too many fan clubs.
- I wish I got more chain letters in my inbox.
- I wish all the comments i got were "thx for the add".
- I wish more girls would msg me an tell me "wow ur so hot". Cuz i dont hear that enough.

My name is Lee Kelly™. I am 17 years old. I play guitar

and bass. Im learning keyboard. I like to sing. I have 2 bands:

Alitalia and The Alaskan Breakdown. I am also on the

tomoka youth and calvary 68 worship teams. I use an Epiphone

Les Paul Black Beauty. And a Peavey XXX half stack. I also play

the harmonica + banjo.



if.u.insist.on.sendin.msgs.
(1) USE ENGLISH.
(2) MY NAME IS ABOVE, READ THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU ASK ME

QUESTIONS
(3) NEVER EVER ASK ME WHAT I LIKE TO DO FOR FUN. THAT IS

WAY TOO COMPLICATED FOR ME TO TRY AND ANSWER..
(4) IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ME, PLEASE MOVE ON. YOU ARE

WASTING YOUR TIME SENDING ME MESSAGES THAT CONSIST OF

"dude... you're gay", SO PLEASE, SPARE ME THE 3 SECONDS AND

THE DEVASTATING HEART BREAK.
(5) IF YOU HAVE OBNOXIOUS MUSIC ON YOUR PAGE, I PROBABLY

WON'T LEAVE YOU A COMMENT. I HAVE MUSIC PLAYING

WHENEVER I AM ON MY COMPUTER AND THE COMBINATION OF

THE TWO CREATES A JUMBLED MESS OF SUCK.
(6) IF YOU DO GET MY AIM SN AND YOU MESSAGE ME ASKING

THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS: "hey who is this?, "hey send me your

myspace link plz", I WILL KILL YOU.
(7) IF I SEE THAT UR FLOODING MY COMMENTS WITH ADD ME

REQUESTS. I WILL DELETE/BAN YOU. IM NOT UR CYBER PIMP
(8) IF YOU SEND ME A CHAINLETTER IM GOING TO BLOCK YOU, SO

DONT DO IT
(9) IM PART OF ENOUGH GROUPS ALREADY I DONT NEED MORE

SO DONT ADD ME TO YOUR LAME ONE


Chronicles of Me

Lee doesn't have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall

buildings duck under Lee.

Lee can slam a revolving door.

Onions do not make Lee cry. Lee makes onions crap

themselves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Lee allows

to live.

When Lee goes to donate blood, he declines the needle, and

instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Lee could use

to kill you, including the room itself.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time

Satan borrowed two bucks from Lee and forgot to pay him

back.

Lee played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

Crop circles are Lee's way of telling the world that sometimes

corn needs to lie down.

Circles exist because Lee beat the crap out of some

squares.

Lee can divide by zero.

Lee is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of

tennis.

Lee has two speeds: walk and kill.

Lee once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his

Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV, and the game beat itself

out of fear.

You are what you eat. That is why Lee's diet consists entirely of

bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Lee can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Lee is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Lee smile, but only 2 to make him

destroy an orphanage.

When Lee deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them

to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.

If you were to lock Lee in a room with a guitar, a year later you

would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's.

When asked why he doesn't do this Lee replied "Because Grammy's

are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his

response.

Lee doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the

information he wants.

Lee sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and

unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the deal was finalized,

he roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.

The devil, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it

coming.

Lee does not sleep. He waits.

If you ask Lee what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."

After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in

the face.

Lee was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of

"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,

jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined

influence to have Lee omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three

died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

If you can see Lee, he can see you. If you can't see Lee you may

be only seconds away from death.

Lee's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

A man once asked Lee if his real name is "Levy". Lee did not

respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Lee once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,

"Bang!"

Lee once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor

wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Lee appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was

removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a

roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," he replied, "That's no

glitch."

It was once believed that Lee actually lost a fight to a pirate, but

that is a lie, created by Lee himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates

never were very smart.

Lee recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.

We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Lee once destroyed the entire world, but rebuilt it faster than the

human mind can comprehend, so no one noticed.

Lee is so bad, he takes a baseball bat into the bathroom with him

incase he craps out a wildcat and has to beat it to death.

There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said
I'm just repeating myself repeating someone else
Equally incapable of uttering a single new thought
Yet you are ever worthy of adoration
So how can I for a moment cease to lift my heart in praise?
Your name is glory
My song is victory
And I will keep on singing
There is no oppostion
No thing can stand in your way
Make my life your own

A Rose By Any Other Name, As Cities Burn, Becoming The Archetype, The Chariot, Chiodos, Cinematic Sunrise, Dance Gavin Dance, Destroy The Runner, Envy on the Coast, Eso Charis, Family Force 5, Four Letter Lie, Goodbye Tomorrow, He Is Legend, Head Automatica, The Hush Sound, Jonezetta, Josh Scogin, The Juliana Theory, Life In Your Way, Luti Kriss, Mae, Maylene And The Sons Of Disaster, mewithoutYou, The Misfits, My Chemical Romance, Norma Jean, Oh Henry, The Rocket Summer, Say Anything, The Scene Aesthetic, Showbread, The Showdown, The Spill Canvas, Sullivan, Taking Back Sunday, Twelve Gauge Valentine, Underoath

The ABC's of Sex education for trainables, Most exploitation films:, -Mondo films, -Black exploitation, -Shock films, -Zombie films, -Splatter films, -Slasher films, -Hixploitation, Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, Kill Bill, Grindhouse, Pay It Forward, Castaway, A Clockwork Orange, Sublime, Donnie Darko, Shaun of the Dead, Stay Alive, Tales From The Crypt, The Fifth Element, The Shining, American Psycho, The Evil Dead Trilogy, Wrong Turn, Hannibal Rising, Turistas, The Hills Have Eyes, Lawnmower Man, Land of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, Thank You For Smoking, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, IT, The Little Shop of Horrors, School of Rock, Eight Legged Freaks, 40 Year Old Virgin, Oxygen, Spider-Man 1, 2 & hopefully 3, Night of the Living Dead, Cello, The Tenacious D HBO series, Bruiser, Edward Scissorhands, Unbreakable, Nacho Libre, The Village, Natonal Lampoon's Van Wilder, Saw 1, 2&3, Hostel, All Texas Chainsaw Massacres, Nightmare on Elm Street series, Friday the 13th series

Lost, Scrubs, Metalocalypse, The Daily Show, Friday Night Fights

El Biblia.